The Tenderloin Neighborhoods

The heart of San Francisco with many of the city's administrative buildings and according to rumors, a public park as well... maybe.

A common bathing spot for those "on the move" in the neighborhood as well as being a ginormous toilet for the agro seagulls that hang out around here (watch your bagels). Why the stretches pointing to Leavenworth and up Market? If you've ever been around the spray drift of the fountain, you know why.

A street market at Hyde & Turk that sloshes around to various sides of the streets depending on the sun and flow of traffic. A great place to find half a bottle of shampoo, your favorite VHS tapes, or "bargain" bicycles.

The city's Vietnamese center. The "official" borders are much smaller as anyone who has been there knows that Vietnamese restaurants and businesses spread far and wide like that spicy paste on a bahn mi sandwich.

The absolute best place to pick up your OC's and these days, apparently, OP's. Ironically, there is also a low income drug dispensary there, go figure.

If you like naked ladies (who doesn't), then this is the place for you with the two main strip clubs in the neighborhood bracketing in one of the few kids parks in the neighborhood in a "class sandwich".

Location of UC Tenderloin (aka UC Hastings), a well-regarded law school.

An area centered around Fox Plaza and all that's some kind of awesome at this end of the neighborhood. Also, deep within this fine architecture, that salutes 1970's Lincoln Logism, is contained the Tenderloin Post Office.

The forlorn tip of the Tenderloin that's not really sure what it's doing except feeling chilly in the fog and sticking out from the neighborhood.

A large high-end shopping area for the Tenderloin and possibly other San Francisco neighborhoods. This area is often referred to as Union Square by those whose magazine names equal 49.

Woe are the transient tourists that live in these hotels during their brief stays in San Francisco. They often spend their days in Tenderloin East or the Official Tourist District above North Beach. They're easy to spot as they're typically barely clothed for San Francisco's inclement weather and also wait in line for the cable car while "entertained" by locals in the neighborhood (or from the East Bay).

Chocked full of delicious and nutritious bars from one end to the other. If you want a cocktail, you go to the Tenderloin's Gimlet.

Roughly based upon the three Castillo Mexican restaurants that ply their trade in the area. Rumor has it that healthy living disappears when it enters the Castle Triangle.

The dead space that is/was Boedecker Park bleeds a bit east in this area that is for all purposes, full of nearly nothing but tumbleweeds.

An area full of well-establish restaurants, shops, and a couple of cafes that serve drinks. A fun place to roll if you're looking for trees and to sell parklet-related construction materials.

A boulevard in to and out of the Tenderloin that funnels all traffic down Sixth Street to Highway 280. This area is a constant, thumping thoroughfare. If you stand still, you can almost hear the cancer coming from car exhaust.

With a number of mellow bars and a couple of restaurants in it, the Whoa-Man is a great place to hang out. It's also a great place to find any variety of alternative "ladies" of the night... or even during the day as shown by DPW workers getting services performed on Hemlock Alley. It's advised to look under the hood prior to taking a drive.

With the Bohemian Club, Olympic Club, and the schmancy le Colonial, this high rollers area of the Tenderloin is not for posers. Its main export: valet parking.

Thankfully, the Tender Turnpike flows right in to this area, which is the best place to park a car in the Tenderloin as it's full of parking lots and lots of people to "watch" your car.

Most people aren't even aware that there are some buildings here in this area as it seems continually shrouded in a fog of oblivion right next to the Tenderloin East.

Feeling a little down? A little left out maybe? Cruise this section of the Tenderloin for a "Yo, what's up? "Yo man" and possibly, "Yo, OC's?"

A mishmash of a spare parts left over from larger sections of the Tenderloin, the Rambles is a place that will usually find you coming or going from it, but not staying.

The largest area in the neighborhood to sit, lie, or do both just about anything else in the street. These activities are highly encouraged by local activists in the neighborhood.

Some of the most flavorful blocks you'll ever find in the Tenderloin. Often referred to as "opening Christmas in your mouth" and not in a Whoa-Man District kind of way.

The lead-in to Nob Hill, this area is mostly residential and lacks a great deal of the hustle and bustle of Lower Tenderloin, but it sports some larger dwellings, high-end restaurants, and random boughts of NIMBYism.

An area that was part of Tenderloin Heights until the start of the 21st century when the Academy of Art bought up a number of buildings and then illegally converted old hotels in to dorms and common decency in to crimes against humanity, making the area an art student ghetto with businesses focused on art student ghetto customers.

A section of the Tenderloin that both leads in to Nob Hill as well as in to the French Quarter. Depending on the wind, it quite possibly will fart in your general direction.

This lightly dipped gulch gave the Tenderloin its original name of Saint Anne's Valley. Anne was woman of loose virtues who was canonized after she spent a week at the Vatican in 1912. Yeah, she was that good. We shall not forget thee, Anne.

With a number of to-go food options, if you live in one of the surrounding neighborhoods or attend classes in the Bar, you know these blocks of the Tenderloin well.

A generally quiet, tree-lined, relaxed area of the Tenderloin with several new businesses and a great number of low key residents although the Sit/Lie often wanders by to party.

Home to several of the Tenderloin's theaters which are easy to visit given their proximity to the Park.

From time to time, a market, only heard of in legends passed down through the generations will appear out of nowhere and haunt this square for half a day at a time. This cycle of rebirth then drives the migration of pushy old women to the area.

Prized by amateurs, professionals, and those with just a camera phone, this area of the Tenderloin sports unparalleled views of... the only real view in the neighborhood.

This dark, cavernous expanse is rumored to have been created by the natural formations of bad civic planning, as well as needing to have an entrance to get to the subway trains.

If you need wheels, you go here. If you need to see red-eyed tourists shelling out $60 a day for a tricycle with doors, just to head up to Napa, you also go here.